MAN-CESTRY ?????DOES HE WANT ?ANOTHER? THREESOME????

” My BF of almost a year and half recently confessed to having a threesome (with another girl) in the past. He also confessed that he really loved it! I really need to know what this means, it was so random to bring up. Does he want to try it with me? Is it a hint? Will he be unsatisfied, and disappointed if I’m just not okay with or down for it? Okay Mr. man WTF is going on in his head”………K.L.

HA!!!

Well lesbi-honest I know, I know horrible J.S. reference…So shoot me…

Seriously though, you may be looking at this ENTIRELY wrong… Or he just really really digs threesomes… He may have been a closet threes company addict till recently — you just never know.

But let’s try to be more serious, a lot of you woman will have the man tarred and feathered while waiting for a response….

Okay possibilities….Ready?….Set!……HE WANTS ANOTHER THREESOME…..At least more than likely that is the case. If we break this down into percentages — it will work somewhat like this….

There is a 25% chance you relationship has reached a level where you are in a “safe place”. One he feels you will spare his life…….even if he tells you the truth. (That would be a good thing Miss Panicky pants) If you have made him feel safe, and secure in your relationship; He’s opening up…….. Isn’t that what you wanted?

OR There is a 75% chance that he is totally HAPPY with you, but if you just so happened to walk in one drunken Friday night with an extra play mate, then well —I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WOULD TURN YOU BOTH DOWN. His experience pre-You was great, clearly it’s is a fond memory. But maybe that’s all it is. Maybe he uses that as a fantasy… picturing you instead of course…Maybe it was a bucket-list thing…He tried, he achieved, he conquered, he’s cured. Again let me reiterate that I do not believe; since it was him that brought it up — that he would turn it down –given the chance…. Also he may have brought it up to see if it would pique your interest…Watch your reaction….See if it’s possible…..Can you blame him?…Really? After saying all that I do believe that although he would all the signs are present that he is also perfectly content with you, and you alone… I would not worry unless this topic becomes one of constant discussion.

“Hey babe, can you pass me the syrup, oh and how bout that threesome?”

“Hey “Hunny remember that girl at work that I told you seemed kind of out there? yeah well come to find out..SHE”S BI….How great is that?…..So ummm How bout that threesome.” 

So yeah the above way over dramatized versions of what your man “might” bring up on a more regular basis, red flags…. Either address it or get ready to begin your “road trip” down a slippery chocolate syrup road paved with good vibrations……

The other 5%

They def want the extra V…..My dear in that case the choice is your’s.

No matter what.

Talk First……

Think…..

Throw shit, and scream later if necessary.

Good Luck……I’d say wish on a clover but they tend to come with 3 leafs. Image

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One Question ( She’s ) to shy, or grossed out to ask….

mancestryquestions

I AM MAN……..

“HEAR ME ROAR” would just be way to cliché — so instead I will say

” How you dooooin?”…Now that the girls have giggled and thrown up in their mouths, I can happily begin my first post for Here and Sphere.

Woman are funny, disturbing, wildly attractive, and insanely annoying creatures. They have brilliant minds, and Jedi tricks — their super powers are kind of awesome — also THEY PISS ME OFF TO NO END.

However: without them life would SERIOUSLY be a GIANT boring sausage fest, of gaming, messy houses, unshaven…..well…EVERYTHING….and TOTAL BOREDOM.

So in the spirit of these brazen, self – starting, and completely  bewildering Goddesses…. <—-(hoping I scored points there, though doubtful) — I give a peace-offering of sorts. INFORMATION, yup that’s right…. I may even break guy code here — so hopefully no one puts a hit on me. IF I live to see another day, MEN — Will at some point thank me….. I PROMISE…

HERE IS A QUESTION, WOMAN WANT ANSWERED — BUT ARE TO SHY TO ASK:

Q. Numero Uno) Why in the hell does it take so damn long for a guy to take a crap?

A. Well my lovely Fast Crapper’s, and power pusher’s of the world;                  1.) WE ENJOY THE DAMN SILENCE. The reason that porcelain god is called a “Throne” is — for when we sit upon it We are one again King of OUR castle.  “If” we share a domicile, that means that at some point…..YOU WON. We surrendered our hearts and spare key, to the woman we knew should be ” Our Queen”. 

2.) The Solace of the “poop room” helps us to think…. ( Yes we really do that thinking thing….smart-ass) It’s a “Turd World Country” but it is rich in plush Cottonelle butt paper. Plus there are hand-towels..neatly folded and perfectly placed hand-towels (that we KNOW we are NOT supposed to touch — since they are simply there to look pretty.)

3.) THERE ARE NO RULES…Other than the hand-towel NO-NO!!!! In the “Palace of Poo” we men are FREE. We are allowed by human-ism, and possibly god given right — to obnoxiously fill the air — with our rancid man-ufactured, possibly toxic, tear-inducing ass perfume. AND THERE…..It is acceptable….even encouraged.

4.) Finally and most honestly –IT FEELS GOOD….. There I said it.. After all we worked hard for that feeling of accomplishment. After stuffing our faces behind the backs of our beloved queens, and slowly digesting our gluttonous bounty — it feels GREAT to know….. OUR CRAP STILL WORKS……….

mancestry3